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Oct
14th
Tue
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Oct
12th
Sun
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Ply It Forward

yourmonkeycalled:

My son is learning to use the bathroom by himself. After we’ve washed and dried our hands and thrown our paper towels into the trash can, he insists that we prepare some paper towel for the next person. He goes over to the dispenser and hits the lever a few times, enough for the next guy to dry his hands. 

Everyone should do this. Imagine: you’ve just washed your hands at a average-to-gross public bathroom. The Universal Hand Sanitation Tainter is having to hit that wet paper towel handle with your newly-clean hands. If there’s some paper already there, you can use that and then (this is the key benefit to you) use that paper towel to hit the handle a few times for the next person. 

As far as I know, this is not a Thing That People Do. But it should be, right? 

So: how can we make this a Thing That People Do?

Oct
10th
Fri
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OH YEAH!
OH YEAH!
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Oct
9th
Thu
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Oct
8th
Wed
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Hamburger Fatty Melt The buns are made of grilled cheese!
Hamburger Fatty Melt The buns are made of grilled cheese!
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Oct
6th
Mon
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Tim Dickinson is my new best friend. 
Oct
5th
Sun
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Women don’t really want to hear a man’s opinion, they just want to hear their opinion in a deeper voice.
— Jeff Foxworthy
Oct
4th
Sat
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I know how you feel bird dude.
Oct
3rd
Fri
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Bad credit is the best defense against identity theft.
Sep
30th
Tue
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In honor of John McCain’s recommendation that the Federal Reserve buy up to $1 trillion in mortgages, I’ve decided to redesign our flag. 
Is this like atheists in foxholes? Are there no free market capitalists during a depression?
I never liked the old version anyway, patterns are so tacky. 

In honor of John McCain’s recommendation that the Federal Reserve buy up to $1 trillion in mortgages, I’ve decided to redesign our flag. 

Is this like atheists in foxholes? Are there no free market capitalists during a depression?

I never liked the old version anyway, patterns are so tacky. 

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They have God on their side, all we have is Ben Affleck.
— Michael Moore on why the Democrats lost the last two elections. 
Sep
28th
Sun
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Sounds about right.
Sounds about right.
Sep
27th
Sat
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The first 40 seconds of Annie Hall perfectly describes me and my philosophy on life.